• This is an adaptation from my forthcoming book “The Wonderful 'game of' Pro Fun D.T.

    What is a sincere question ?  – that is a question for which you would really and truly appreciate an answer.  Do you have one of those?

    Life is full of questions let’s face it. 

    •  “What’s for dinner?”  “Salad.” or
    • “Are you going to the footy?”  “Not today.”  

    The really good ones are open ended questions, where the answer is more than one or two words. They are the rich ones that make you think before you answer. Like

    • “Why is it every time I want us to go to the beach, you decide to visit your sister?” or
    • “How did you and your best friend meet?” or
    • “What did you think of the movie?”

    They’re good because open ended questions can spark a conversation.

    But let’s give some thought to the sincere question. It's the one that is a challenge; and sincere because it is the one where the answer means something to you.  Now it will most likely be an open ended question for sure, and the reason it is a challenge is because you still have it.  You have most likely asked it a few times already, but this particular sincere question just hasn’t been answered yet. 

    At times even closed-ended questions can be sincere. There is usually an open-ended question lurking in the vicinity that is more to the point. For example “Should I ask Jane to marry me?”  could be answered with the flip of a coin. But if you aren’t prepared to leave it to chance then you are probably wondering, and no doubt sincerely wondering, whether Jane is the right girl for you. The more helpful question would therefore be “What is stopping me from asking Jane to marry me?” See?  So if you were Tarzan you would really and truly appreciate an answer to that wouldn’t you? So you would be really sure whether you wanted to ask Jane to marry you, or not.

    Many people have a sincere question, that they don’t know how to answer, but would love to get to the bottom of it.  Is that you perhaps? Mostly the sincere question is a bit frustrating and it can be so frustrating that we push it right into the back of our minds. We try to pretend it isn’t there. We let ourselves become so distanced from getting that question answered that we don’t even know why we get flustered at times; and we feel our buttons being pushed and also powerless to resist our reaction.

    Have you noticed that life pushes us to such a point of frustration quite a lot? You may find that you are not wearing your frustration so that it is outwardly visible - it is stuffed down somewhere that it can’t obviously bother you whilst you get on with life.

    There’s a good chance you are the type of person who cares about life, people, animals, and the planet; and more. Like you, the vast majority of people are kind, considerate loving people. Most of us lead busy lives. We become absorbed by the demands of the modern lifestyle until it becomes all we think about.  Sometimes the daily pressures can leave us feeling so far away from our deepest wishes. It is as though they were a dream.  You would love a regular means of reconnecting with what matters most to you. But there is not a lot of time and you wonder who would listen anyway. So you just use your time to do things that keep you occupied and as content as possible.

    And so, in an effort to be kind to our self - our probably less than fulfilled self, we might take time out at the beauty spa for some r and r. Having a day out with girlfriends is fun and relaxing but it does not maintain the energy you are longing for. The deep frustration that something is missing is still there. Taking an overseas holiday is wonderful, for a week - and then life resumes.  Hiking and swimming are all great fun, if you even get to do them.  But are all these activities fulfilling you?  Does catching up with the boys meet your inner needs, once everyone has gone back to their own house?

    Admittedly there are some genuinely happy people who have fulfilling spiritual practices and want for nothing because they are blissed out.  If there is something that you do that gives you limitless joy then you are unlikely to have any questions because you are in deep knowledge of who you  are and what life is all about. We can learn from such people by asking what is their secret?

    But most of us would admit that we are not especially feeling bliss and contentment. Just notice how everywhere you look people are almost glued to their mobile phone - do they seem contented or desperately seeking some acknowledgement? They’re usually checking out what their friends are doing on social media.  The phones are on restaurant tables, by the desk, on the bedside table, in the school bag, handbag, gym bag, nearby the TV. Even the air around us seems to vibrate with a collective sigh that says: “I am starved for something, I can’t put my finger on what exactly, and as full as it is my life actually feels rather lonely. My friends say they are doing great stuff but I just don’t feel as though I am getting what they are from life.”  Sigh.

    It’s so easy to overlook that you might be checking out a dozen people’s posts at the one time. Do you ever stop to think what is happening to all those friends  who are not posting?  For a moment it’s easy to assume that everyone else in the whole wide world is enjoying a really full and fun filled life.  It is unlikely though that their lives are actually as fulfilled as you imagine.

    Do you ever say to yourself: “I just want to do something so that I can enjoy my life?”  If you want to get over the hurdles that are bothering you right now, or have been bothering you for ages - you are in luck.

    You are in luck because just by acknowledging that you have a sincere question can be enough to get you on the road to discovering the answer. Because that sincere question is essential to your happiness and well-being, the sooner you find the answer the better your life will become. Gone will be the hollow desperation that we have all learned to mask so well.

    Are you game enough to ask The Sincere Question and embark on a discovery technique that will help you answer it?

  • If you could, what question would you ask your inner wisdom.

    I define that as a sincere question; the one for which we would really and truly appreciate an answer, because it is something that has been perplexing us for some time. It is a deep personal question which is affecting our joy.  Do you have one of those?

    Life is full of questions let’s face it.

    • “What’s for dinner?”  or
    • “Are you coming to the footy?” or
    •  “How many years did you work for that company?”

    The really good questions are known as open questions, That means that the answer is more than one or two words. They are the rich ones that make you think before you answer. Like

    • “Why is it every time I want us to go to the beach, you decide to visit your sister?” or
    • “How did you and your best friend meet?” or
    • “What did you think of the movie?”

    They’re good because open ended questions can spark a conversation.

    But let’s give some thought to the sincere question. It’s the one that is challenging; and sincere because it is the one where the answer means a lot to us.  It is most likely an open-ended question for sure, and the reason it is a challenge is because we still have it.  We’ve most likely asked it a few times already, but this particular sincere question just hasn’t been answered satisfactorily yet. 

    Many people have a sincere question, that they don’t know how to answer. Mostly sincere questions are pesky and can be so frustrating that we push them right into the back of our minds. We try to pretend they aren’t there. We let ourselves become so distanced from getting that question answered that we don’t even know what the impact of that uncertainty can become. It can be the reason we get flustered at times; when we feel our buttons being pushed and are powerless to resist our reactions.

    Have you ever felt pushed to such a point of frustration at times? Right minded people have learned to suppress their frustration so that it is not outwardly visible – it is stuffed down somewhere that it can’t obviously bother them whilst they get on with life.

    They are the people who care about life, people, animals, and the planet; and more. Like you, the vast majority are kind, considerate loving people. Most lead busy lives and prioritise the demands of their modern lifestyle until it becomes their only concern.  There is just no time for regular means of reconnecting with what matters most deeply to them. They wonder who would listen anyway.

    Daily pressures seem to be so far away from our deepest wishes that it is as though they were a dream.  So we just use our time to do things that keep us occupied and as content as possible. But the fulfillment, the deep aching desire for fulfilment yearns for attention.

    Getting some “me” time is compressed into convenient time slots. We allow our probably less-than-fulfilled self some time out at the beauty spa for some r and r. Having a day out with girlfriends is fun and relaxing but the “me” energy we are longing for dissipates very quickly. The deep frustration that something is missing is still there. Taking an overseas holiday is wonderful, for a week – and then life resumes.  Hiking and swimming are all great fun, if we even get to do them.  But are all these activities fulfilling us?  Does catching up with the boys meet our inner needs, once everyone has gone back to their own house?

    Admittedly there are some naturally happy people who experience fulfilled lives and want for nothing because they are blissed out.  Anyone who has limitless joy is unlikely to have any questions because they are in deep knowledge of who they are and what life is all about. We may learn from such people by asking what is their secret?

    But most of us would admit that we do not feel authentic bliss and contentment. Simply noticing how people are almost glued to their mobile phone – do they seem content? Or are they desperately seeking some acknowledgement that their life is meaningful? Invariably they are on social media checking out what their friends or celebrities are doing, thinking, and influencing.  The phones are on restaurant tables, by the desk, on the bedside table, in the school bag, handbag, gym bag, nearby the TV. Even the air around us seems to vibrate with a collective sigh that says: “I am starved for something, I can’t put my finger on what exactly, and as full as it is, my life actually feels rather lonely. My friends say they are doing great stuff but I just don’t feel as though I am getting what they are from life.”  Sigh.

    It’s easy to overlook that one might be checking out a dozen people’s posts at the same time. Do we ever wonder what is happening to all those friends who are not posting?  For a moment it’s easy to assume that everyone else in the whole wide world is enjoying a fuller and more fun filled life.  But it is unlikely that their lives are as fulfilled as one’s imagination believes.

    Do we ever say to ourselves: “I just want to do something so that I can enjoy my life?”  If one wants to get over the hurdles that are bothering us right now or have been bothering us for ages – luck is on our doorstep.

    We are in luck because just by acknowledging that we have a sincere question can be enough to get us on the road to discovering the answer. Because that sincere question is essential to one’s happiness and well-being, and the sooner you find the answer the better your life will become. Gone will be the hollow desperation that we have all learned to mask so well.

    Are you game enough to ask The Sincere Question and embark on a journey that will help you answer it?

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